"i would rather be alone than put in the effort sometimes." she told me this tonight. we were talking about how we used to put up with so much crap from people and not make a fuss about things they did that bothered us, just for the sake of keeping people around us who claimed to be our friends.
"i would rather be alone," she said.
"yeah, i know. i agree," i said. "i don't have the energy anymore."
but that was while i was on the phone, talking to my friend, at 10:00 pm when the members of my family were all awake, surrounding me in our house, in a neighbourbood full of houses with families inside.
now it is 2:30 am. everyone is asleep. i tried calling my cousin in iran, but the stupid phone won't connect. i need to talk to her. i wrote her an e-mail that went on for eternity. i can't wait to get her reply.
to be honest, i'm no longer really sure that i would rather be alone than put in the effort.
i'm afraid i may need to love people and need them to love me back.

aristotle: man is a political animal. only gods or beasts live alone.