"Most good judgment comes from experience. Most experience comes from bad judgment."

it's funny how you are the same person even though you are completely different. i am still bita, but i'm almost indistinguishable from who i was even just a year ago. i can feel the difference in myself, even if it maybe doesn't show on the outside. i'm so much more cautious and so much more free and so much more aware.
AWARE.
that's it. i'm aware now. i reflect on myself.
hegel has this idea of the slave/master relationship. he says the master is not self-conscious, but the slave is. the slave becomes aware of his position (his bondage), whereas the master is not aware of his freedom and of his dependence on the slave (he needs the slave to be free). it is this awareness on the part of the slave that ultimately leads to his freedom and his ability to supersede the master. but more importantly, this happens in yourself. when you become aware of yourself and your position, then you are free from self-imposed bonds. and you only become aware when you are forced to collide with a position/situation that enslaves you.
today i am aware of myself and my reactions and the signs of enslavement. i am resistant to them now...

bita - is eid tomorrow or tuesday?? says:
...it sucks how hard life forces people to be...
disillusioned and less innocent
says:
i know
i think about that all the time
bita - is eid tomorrow or tuesday?? says:
yeah?
do you compare yourself to before?
says:
I WAS JUS WRITIN THAT
damn!
bita - is eid tomorrow or tuesday?? says:
sooo much more trusting, easy-going
loool great minds...
says:
exactly

i guess we all go through the same things and come to the same conclusions. the problem is, i don't know which is better - freedom or innocence...