she saw other people's behaviour, she read about it in books, she saw movies. and she judged. "if it was me i would NEVER do that. if it was me, i would have said this instead and done that instead. i can't believe she said this or did that."

then she was in that situation. she was confronted with the same issue. and she crumpled. she wasn't strong enough to NEVER do that. she didn't say this instead or do that instead. she said and did exactly what she couldn't believe they said or did.

but she didn't see that. she couldn't see that's what she was doing. because it was different for her. they were wrong, but she was justified. she had a reason to react like that and put up with that, see, cause there was a good excuse for it. it was different for her. yeah, to the outside world it looked the same, but it really was different. really!!

----------------look back, look back-----------was it different?? NOOOOOOOO! NO NO NO, it was the same. she did it all. she did everything she said she wouldn't do. and for the same reasons the others did them. she was no different than all the ones she had judged before. she was the same.

laugh. hahahahahaha.

isn't it funny? she had thought she was stronger, but no. she had thought she was wiser, but no. she had thought she knew, but no. so all she could do was laugh.

now, she NEVER says, "if it was me i would NEVER do that. if it was me, i would have said this instead and done that instead. i can't believe she said this or did that." because the truth is, she doesn't know. she really doesn't. she may do them all again. she hopes she is stronger and wiser. but that's all she can do...hope