i hate asking for reference letters. i feel like i'm going up to my prof and saying, "hi professor. can you write a letter about me saying how great and fabulous you think i am and how anyone would be so lucky to have me in their program?" fishing for compliments and all that.
i have to do it, but it just feels weird.

on the bright side, i figured out why i didn't get into the french bursery program TWO YEARS IN A ROW, even though the selection process is just like a lottery (the computer just spits out your name) and practically EVERYONE who applies for it wins it, but somehow i DIDN'T get picked either of the times i applied (no i'm not bitter...roll eyes).
if i had won it though i would have used it to fulfill my language requirement and i would never have taken ancient greek ("the ancient greek verb is a thing of beauty" said in a british accent, coming out of the mouth of a man [fittingly named Professor BEER] who always sounds drunk for some reason)(then again, maybe you have to be drunk to understand the 4000 rules every word is subjected to in ancient greek.) anyways, i would not have learned ancient greek, which i have just found out is a requirement for practically any philosophy program. the one i want to get into even tests you on ancient greek when you get there!
and voila, two years later and God's greater plan is revealed...

well, there is also the other thing...if i had gone, none of it would have happened.
wow.
weird.
an experience that changed me so fundamentally and taught me so much that i can't even recognize the girl i was before...and i came SO close to never experiencing it.

hmmm, i wonder if there is an experience that i have missed out on as a result of some choice i made. there are probably thousands. it's strange to realize how many different possible directions your life can move in. just one little choice can change it forever...