i was feeling kind of down recently, so i decided to call God up.
"hey God, how you doing? good? i was, um, wondering, i had, um, a question" (i know you’re not supposed to use ‘um’ in important conversations, but i was nervous ok?? i mean, it’s God!!) "my question is God, why did you make my will free? why isn’t it always in accordance with your will? i mean, sometimes i so desperately want something that you clearly think i shouldn’t have. i know with my mind i shouldn’t. i know that if i was supposed to have it, you would have made it so that i did. i know that you have a plan and that everything happens for a reason. i know all this God. but the problem is i know it with my head. my reason knows all this, but my will just won’t listen. it still wants things that it shouldn’t want. it won’t listen to my brain (which is your voice I think) sometimes. why God? why did you make it free like that instead of making it always want what it SHOULD want?...(pause)...what was that? because otherwise i wouldn’t really be alive? because then i would just exist, but not live? because it is my free will that makes me a human being? but then why does it want things that it shouldn’t want?...(pause)...what did you say? because freedom is scary? i don’t understand...(pause)...huh? freedom bring with it responsibility and it requires wisdom? when you act freely you must know both choices and think about them clearly, using your full brain power? and whatever choice you make, you must accept that it was your choice and you must live with the consequences? So then when my will wants things that it shouldn’t want, it wants them because it’s scared? what does that mean?...(pause)...it means what? that it is not acting freely? that it is enslaved? enslaved to what?...(pause)...hmm? enslaved to ignorance? ignorance of what?...(pause)...ignorance of what is truly good for it? let me get this straight God. you’re saying that when my will wants what it shouldn’t want, that when it goes against my reason and causes my nature to divide against itself, that is when it is enslaved? but that when it chooses what is good for it and what is in accordance with both my reason and your will, then it is most free? isn’t that kinda the opposite of what freedom is? isn’t freedom being able to choose between both the good and the bad choice? you’re saying that only choosing the good is freedom...(pause)...oh yeah? so just having the choice of the two (both good and bad) available provides the freedom? but when we choose what is bad, then we are essentially enslaving ourselves? How?...(pause)...is that so? so the more we choose the bad, the more we become accustomed to it and the more we blind ourselves to what is good? so are you saying that choosing bad is really not an act of freedom? and that it is only when we choose good, and submit to our reason and your will, that only then our will is really acting freely?...(pause)...what? submission is the greatest act of free will?
oh"
"but God, um, just wondering, how do you distinguish what is really truly good from what only looks like its good?...(pause)...pardon? oh you have to go cause someone’s on the other line? we'll discuss this another day? oh um ok, well bye then, nice talking to you..."