embracing the cold

i can't believe it's actually happening. life is moving on. plans that are new. with people i don't know. as if nothing ever happened.
and there is my yearning. i want to know. i hate this darkness, this cloud of not being included.

was it a mistake? i know it wasn't - seeing your new happiness, i know it wasn't. not for you. not in the long-run. you're starting to realize it too i think. realizing your freedom, embracing your total self. happier.
i wish i could be there. i wish it wasn't this way. i wish...
i learned so much from you. i was so happy and safe. i hope you know that.

and as always, i miss you.