escape

my world is falling apart.
the thin fabric of its foundation is slowly tearing at the edges and about to rip.
everywhere i turn, there is pain.
is it all really my fault?
i don't know what to do.
especially since all i want to do is escape.

why shouldn't you play cards in the jungle?

because there are too many cheatahs!

LOOOL
(thanks emad)

my new mantra...

"the behaviour comes before the feeling."

so it's not just me...

(www.postsecret.blogspot.com)

you know it's true love when...

massey has put me on speed dial!

;)

i would too massey, if only i knew how...sigh...

and then she smiled.

he didn't know what to do, or say, or not do (or not say). he wanted to talk to her, to reach her in a place that no one had ever been able to before. to affect her.
but she sat silent. no response. no matter what he did, no response. so he moved further and further. he tried one thing, then another.
a body is at rest unless acted on by a force.
slowly, slowly, she started to move. first a twitch of an eye. so small that it was almost not detectable, but it was there.
he noticed it anyway. saw it there. he was waiting for it, observing every reaction, and so he noticed it. maybe, to him, it even seemed bigger than it actually was, because he was so waiting for it.
nonetheless, it was a sign. he had succeeded. he had made her move.
so he kept going, encouraged by this small triumph.
guess he was on the right track. guess he was doing something right.
but it still wasn't enough. he wanted more. he knew that she was capable of being wholly moved. she had been before, see. and he knew he was capable of moving someone wholly. he had done it before, see. so he kept on trying and trying. anyone else would have given up, but he thought it worth it to try.
why?
he kept on trying, not really knowing why, but having an inclination that if he just held out a little more, he would find out.

and then
finally
she smiled.
that's why, he thought.

i'm 55% virgin.

fun forward => INSTRUCTIONS:
Start with 100% and minus 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as your __% virgin.

1. Smoked
2. Drank alcohol
3. Cried when someone died
4. Been drunk
5. Had sex
6. Been to a concert
7. Given a handjob/gotten a handjob
8. Given a oral sex/gotten oral
9. Been verbally/sexually harassed
10. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend
15. Been to homecoming (prom)
16. Cried at school
17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store
18. Went streaking
19. Given or received a lap dance
20. Had someone of the same sex in your room
21. Had someone of the same sex sleep over
22. Slept over at someone of the same sex's house
23. Kissed a stranger
24. Hugged a stranger
25. Went scuba diving
26. Driven a car
27. Gotten an x-ray
28. Hit by a car
29. Had a party
30. Done drugs
31. Played strip poker
32. Got paid to strip for someone
33. Ran away from home
34. Broken a bone
35. Eaten sushi
36. Bought porn
37. Watched porn
38. Made porn
39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex
40. Been in love
41. Frenched kissed
42. Laughed so hard you cried
43. Cried yourself to sleep
44. Laughed yourself to sleep
45. Stabbed yourself
46. Shot a gun
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day
48. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours
49. Been online for 9 consecutive hours
50. Watched an animal die
51. Watched a person die
52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present
53. Pranked somebody
54. Put somebody in the hospital
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out
56. Kissed somebody of the same sex
57. Dressed punk
58. Dressed goth
59. Dressed preppy
60. Been to a motocross race
61. Avoided somebody
62. Been stalked
63. Stalked someone
64. Met a celebrity
65. Played an instrument
66. Ridden a horse
67. Cut yourself
68. Bungee jumped
69. Ding dong ditched somebody
70. Been to a wild party
71. Got caught stealing something
72. Kicked a guy in the balls
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend
74. Went out with your friend's crush
75. Got arrested
76. Been pregnant
77. Babysat
78. Been to another country
79. Set your house on fire
80. Had an encounter with a ghost
81. Donated your hair to cancer patients
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months
85. Sat on your butt all day
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself
87. Had a job
88. Gotten cut from a sports team
89. Been called a whore
90. Danced like a whore
91. Been mistaken for a celebrity
92. Been in a car accident
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes
94. Been told you have beautiful hair
95. Raped somebody
96. Danced in the rain
97. Been raped
98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face
100. Kissed someone on the lips

Yes, Yes, and Thrice Yes!! (ok, i admit it, i fed-exed it in...)

"Dear Bita,

This notice is being sent to inform you that all of the required documents for your application to 'MA-Medieval Studies (1 Year)' have successfully been received. If you log into the SGS system, you will see that your application is now pending a decision.

If you have any questions, please contact the graduate unit to which you are applying.

Sincerely,

The School of Graduate Studies"

this is SOOO cute!

it's so cool that we are all led to the same conclusions about life and ourselves...

the following post is completely ripped off of massey's blog (http://masseyjaan.blogspot.com/2007/01/power-of-one.html):

"first with the mind, and then with the heart."

comment:
When we were being created in our mother's womb, God first gave us mind, the brain, to think, to choose, to decide, and then gave us the heart, to love, to feel, to give. But the one can't live without the other. To love is to choose, not to lose.

"A path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself alone, one question. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good. If it doesn't it is of no use."
Carlos Castaneda

hmmm...

rast gofte-and ke donya 2 rooz ast: yek rooz be naaf-e to, yek rooz be zarare to. pas bayad dar an rooz ke karha be naaf-e to jareeyan peyda meekonad anchenan talash kard va movafagh shod ta dar rooz-haye deegar pasheeman nashod.

they say life is comprised of 2 days: one in your favor, one against you. thus, on the day where everything goes in your favor, you must work hard enough and be successful enough that you won't regret it on other days.

i wonder...

could God have made the world differently than it is right now?

omg - sooo sad...

confused

this was it. the moment had come. she had known all along that it would. she had expected it. been excited for it. wildly anticipated it.
and she had made plans. one after another she had made plans. grand plans. cause see, she was a planner. she liked to know what she was doing. she made plans predicting years and years down the line.
if something new caught her interests, then she just changed them. The Plans. quickly and painlessly, she made new ones. she loved planning her life.
even if she didn’t follow through with them, she still loved it. they gave her a sense of security. here she was, going somewhere. she always had somewhere to go, see. she was never left at a fork in the road, not knowing whether to turn left or right.
until now.
it wasn’t that she didn’t have any plans. that was never a problem. [she always had plans.] but now instead of a clear road drawn in a colourful map spread open through her mind (complete with land-marks and a GPS locator picture), there was a jumble, a chaos of plans cutting each other off before any had really had a chance to develop.
"come this way, follow me."
"no me! I’m better for you in the long-run."
"no no, me. look, you will always be able to do the other thing, but you may never get the chance again to experience me."
"if you do the other things, you are making the biggest mistake of your life."
they fought in the battle-ground of her consciousness over and over, with no victory in sight. they had each built their trenches and none showed any sign of weakening. in fact, all signs pointed to a world war beginning, as more and more plans joined the fight.
where was the churchill to put an end to it all?
or better yet, the atomic bomb...
the thing was, before it had always been unreal. a fantasy. just a plan. she would do it eventually, but didn’t need to worry about it yet. it had never been so imminent. now, the overwhelming weight of her limitless options, the utter reality of them, pressed heavily on her mind preventing her from actually doing any of them. there weren’t just two road she could follow, there were so many that she couldn’t see the destination anymore.
a sea of possibilities lay before her.
and she was so afraid of drowning that she had stopped swimming.

what did santa claus say when he saw linsday lohan, britney spears and paris hilton standing together?

HO HO HO

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA
(mucho thanksio masseeeey jaaaaaaan)

the great tragedy of life

"i wish i wanted what i had"
this was her greatest wish. her only wish, she told me. she didn't want anything more than that.
but it was the One Thing that she couldn't have.
no matter
how
hard
she
tried.
and that was the tragedy that screamed out from her life.

i am starting to see it in every life. the heartbreaking truth of the promised happiness that will never come.
and that is the tragedy that screams out from mine.

New Year’s Resolutions for 2007

1) I will not procrastinate and leave things to the last minute.
2) I will do all my readings.
3) I will try not to procrastinate.
4) No, no ‘try’! I will seriously NOT procrastinate.
5) I will practice greek at least for an hour every day.
Hmm...I feel like I’ve forgotten something...
Oh yeah! I remember now:
6) I’m not going to procrastinate!!