and it's finally

THE LAST DAY OF 2006.
woo-woo.
let's all say a great big "adios. sionara. good-bye. khodafez. ya alla. au revoir. ciao. see you never. it's good-bye, not good night."
(this following site lists how to say good-bye [among other useful little phrases] in "over 450 languages"! http://www.elite.net/~runner/jennifers/goodbye.htm)

can't say i'm sad to see 2006 go. it was definitely not one of the best years so far, though for sure, it was the most, uh, "educational" (to sum up the lessons learned: don't, under any circumstances, make stupid decisions, such as, though not limited to, trusting someone too quickly OR taking 6 classes in fourth year while being a TA and applying for grad-school at the same time) (rule does not apply if suicidal)
hopefully next year will be filled with a tad less life lessons...and more new episodes of grey's anatomy (what do we want? no more re-runs!!)(when do we want them? january 2007!)

ooohh it makes me so mad!

there is this thing that makes me mad.
ok this person.
but i can't say who.
and i was trying to be ambiguous.
but it's a person.
anyways.
he
OR
she
MAKES ME SO MAD!
what do they do that makes me mad, you ask?
well, i kind of don't want to admit it.
because it sounds selfish, to be honest.
but
this is a blog.
you're "supposed" to be honest.
and it helps me figure myself out.
so i'll just say it.
sigh.
this is what they do:
they ignore me. i have no affect whatsoever on their life. when i talk, it's as if NOTHING happened. as if not a creature had stirred, not even a mouse. honestly, it's painful. and embarrasing.
mostly embarrasing.
you know when you say hi to someone and they don't see you? and you just look like this loser who wishes they had friends...
looool.
("i swear i know them! they just didn't see me! no seriously!")(and everyone else is like "suuuuurrree you do..."[roll eyes])
this is like that, except 24/7.
and they do it in a way that makes it seem like it's on purpose.
like they are purposely ignoring me for some reason.
and feel really uncomfortable about being around me.
grrrrrrr.
and i know i shouldn't get mad about it.
because if i'm going to be totally rational here,
they are really not doing anything wrong.
or doing it on purpose.
and even if they were, well that's their business.
separate from me.
it's just my
pride
that is the problem.
i'm mad about it because it hurts my pride.
and that's not a good reason to be mad at all.
if i was God, i would tell myself, "stop focusing so much on yourself, little girl. there are much more important things in life to worry about."
but
unfortunately
i happen not to be God
and
ooooh it still makes me sooo mad!

yep, yet another quote...but it's so good

"sometimes when you lose, you win."
(massey's favorite movie: What Dreams May Come)

i KNOW this one is true...

exactly!

"corny is what i'm looking for."

status: disillusioned

i miss the sweet bliss of ignorance.

me too!

(www.postsecret.blogspot.com)

wow, is this ever true!!

"how friendships break up:
both friends think the other is busy and do not contact thinking it may be disturbing. as time passes both think 'let the other contact.' after that each think 'why should i contact first?' here your love turns into hate. finally without contact the memory becomes weak. they forget each other. one fine day they will meet and blame one another."

bitamehrin.blogspot.com! brining you the breaking news, first!

Ladies and gentlemen I am coming to you LIVE from the basement of bita’s house. It is now 5:10 pm on friday december 22st. And, you’re not going to believe this, but she is FINISHED writing her last two papers of the fall term! Wow! jim, get a close-up of the papers! Get them both in one shot.
[shakes head in amazement] Unbelievable.
[puts hand on earpiece] what was that leslie? I didn’t quite hear you over the excitement this has generated. [listens] oh yes, I did try to get a comment from miss bita. unfortunately, she seemed unable to comment due to her brain being fried. But the glazed look plastered on her face was definitely one of ecstasy. Oh! Oh! wait a minute, wait a minute. She is opening her mouth. Shh! Shh! [whispers] is she going to say something? [holds breath]
"uh, I just want to, uh, say thank you to my wonderful parents. Without them I wouldn’t be here today (literally). Also, my amazing friends, especially kim and Vanessa! you guys were there through the shit-times. Stuck it through my panic attacks, even though you were going through the same thing. You’ll never know how much it meant to me. And also, I want to thank God. When I just felt like I couldn’t write another word, He gave me the strength to go on, and somehow supplied me with an endless vocabulary and ability to BS in my time of need. Finally, to anyone else out there writing a crazy number of papers back to back, I just want to say" [music starts playing] "wait, what is that? is my time up?? Oh shoot. Ok, I’ll hurry. I just want to say, you can do this guys. If I could do it, sooo can you! just believe in yourself. I have a dream. A dream that one day –" [music gets louder] "ok, ok, I’m leaving. Sheesh."
you have JUST heard the first comments from bita after having finished her last papers of the semester. Gosh, the excitement still hasn’t died down here leslie! [listens] What are her after-essay plans, you ask? Actually, I think she has a hot date with her bed (wink wink nudge nudge), but I’ll keep you posted as more information flows in.
Well, there you have it folks. An event that seemed like it would NEVER happen, a day which seemed like it would NEVER come, and it finally has! It’s enough to make you believe in miracles. and so close to christmas too! she gives us all hope for the future – no matter how miserable the time, it will eventually be over...
Back to you leslie.

two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl

two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl. two nights of no sleep make bita a dull girl.

p.s. for those who haven't seen The Shining and are wondering if i have gone crazy...I HAVE...MUHAHAHAHA (evil laugh)
p.p.s. message #2 for those who haven't seen The Shinig: shame on you! go! rent! now! and to ensure nightmares for months, make sure to watch it really late at night, with all the lights turned off, prefarably alone.
(p.p.p.s. special message for massey: no, i didn't sit here and type this all out instead of writing my essay! i swear. i copied and pasted. :D)

coming soon to a computer near you!

two papers to write
[dau dau dauum]
one day to do them in
[dau dau daum]
just wants a passing grade
[pause]
of 'A'

can she do it???

see the gripping battle between bita and her papers, THIS thursday at participating computers near you.
(purchase not necessary)

i'm sure shakespeare would have agreed

(Me)
oh fourth year, fourth year! wherefore art thou fourth year?
deny thy exams, and refuse thy papers;
or, if thou wilt not, just give me a good grade and the credit,
and i’ll no longer be overworked and panicked.

(Fourth Year [aside])
shall i hear more, or shall i speak at this?

(Me)
‘tis but thy crazy amount of work that is my enemy; –
thou art supposed to be fun though, not so stressful.
what’s stressful? it is not classes, nor the university,
nor the profs, nor my friends, nor any other part
belonging to a university experience. oh, have less work!
what’s in work! that which we do a 7-10 page paper for
would smell just as sweet as a 15-20 pager (sweeter!);
so fourth year would, were it not to have so many 15-20 page papers,
retain that dear perfection which it owes
without that shit-load of work: – fourth year, doff thy work;
and for thy work, which is no part of thee,
take all myself.

wow - 5th post of the day! can you tell i have a paper to write?*

i have two papers to write by friday.
so obviously i was instead checking random blogs here and there, after having spent an obscene amount of time organizing my e-mail inbox (now perfectly divided into clearly marked files), and i came across this:

"women are unsexed by success and men are unsexed by failure"
(http://realitybeckons.blogspot.com/2006/12/women-are-unsexed-by-success-and-men.html)

a perfect reflection capturing the essence of a certain incident which recently happened in my life. can't give further details (until those involved have all died), but yeah...great saying.

can somebody tell me, why is it like that???
i'm afraid i'm going to be one of the stepford wives before being stepfordized. you know, the ones whose husbands wanted to turn into robots because they were sick and tired of dealing with their independent identity...

*expect many more posts throughout the night. tomorrow morning my whole home-page will be december 19th...

bwahahahahahhahaha - poor guy

but i died!!!

arab guy on treadmill:
http://www.persianbelgium.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=104
p.s. and notice how his "friend" (some friend!) just leaves him!! loool

i wish there was a way i could show you i cared...

without hurting you.

so, we put up our christmas tree.

"wait a minute," you exclaim [shocked and confused], "aren't you muslim?? i thought muslims didn't celebrate christmas, the birthday of jesus H. christ, day of the lord and virgins everywhere."
well, you are correct about that, little johnny. muslims do not, in fact, celebrate le christmas. and i am, in fact #2, le muslim.
however, i am an iranian muslim.
and what difference does that make? well, none really. iranian muslims don't celebrate christmas either. but my family is a celebrating peoples. which means we take any opportunity to celebrate la bella vita, la (le? friggin sexism of french) joie de vivre, it's a wonderful life, you get my drift: be it eid al-adha, eid al-fitr, christmas, low gas prices, a green light...whatever it may be, we celebrate it.
so anyways, back to the point of this post, which was:
we put up our christmas tree.

it's just pretty, ok?!?!

oh philosophy jokes, how I love you...

"i kant understand what Kant is talking about."

:D

doesn't it suck?

you know when someone does something which hurts you? something so painful that it hurts for months? so painful that you think you will never be happy again? and the only way you can get over it is by demonizing them in your head? making them out to be this horrible person who had no level of human decency whatsoever and purposely treated you in the shit-ass way that they did?
you know what i mean?

doesn't it suck when you finally understand where they were coming from, see the logical reasons behind what they did, and can't really hate them for it anymore?

omg, this was made just for me...loooooooool (i blame youtube.com)

sometimes

you have to sacrifice your own happiness for someone else.
because sometimes
what makes you happy makes them unhappy.
so sometimes
when you care about someone, you have to think about them before thinking about yourself.
no matter how unhappy it sometimes
makes you feel.
and how much you wish sometimes
that your happiness didn't cause pain.
the only problem is that sometimes
you both sacrifice your happiness for the other person.
not knowing that sometimes
worrying has unnecessarily made you both end up unhappy.
sometimes.

hello. my name is bita and i'm a school-aholic.

it has been 11 days and 13 hours since my last class.
i'm trying not to think about it, but the truth is...i'm bored. i complain about school and all, but i don't think i can live without it. yeah, that's despite knowing the harm of it. i know that it's bad for my health - i don't sleep, i eat like it's going out of style (me after getting massacred last week by the thousand papers (a.k.a. the Crusades of Dec. 2006): "so THIS is why africa doesn't have food. cause i ate it all!"), i'm stressed. it's bad for my social life ("bita let's do something today." "can't. i have to study." "well, let's do something tomorrow" "can't. i have to study."). and let's be honest, at times it makes me want to find a bridge or a razor or something.
see? i know the harms of it in my head.
but i still love it. i'm still addicted.
i'm trying to wean myself off it slowly - i just couldn't go cold turkey, don't have the self-control that requires. i stopped the fun parts of it (classes) and kept the not-so-fun parts of it (papers) so that it would be easier to quit. you know, like reminding me of the pain of it would make me not want it anymore.
but no. didn't work.
...le sigh...
i'm still going through withdrawal. it's just, i don't know, i love the school environment. i love the classes. i love seeing my friends every day. i love my profs. i get this high whenever i'm there. i like the person i am when i'm at school. i feel more cool, more free.
i know, i know, dwelling on the fun parts doesn't help my progress any. i'm trying not too, you know.
but i just don't think i can do this. i mean, i've admitted the problem. isn't that the first step to recovery?? but nothing is changing. i'm just going to have to accept that this addiction is a part of who i am.
so, hmm, i guess that's a "no" to the take a year off next year or not question...

the day i turned the big 2-2 (well, the day after...i.e. dec. 11th)

in the library:
(how hot are the earings massey got me??)
http://video.tinypic.com/player.php?v=3za24i9

in kashi's car:
(kashi: "there may have been an accident, but i can't remember.")
http://video.tinypic.com/player.php?v=2d6lkw6

in the restaurant:
(all we needed was some butter for tag...)
http://video.tinypic.com/player.php?v=2v2ebrr

grassy-assy massey for the surprise!

"anger is like a fart.

it makes YOU feel good to let it out, but it sucks for everyone else..."
(professor laird)

have i ever mentioned how much i lo-ove my profs??
well, in case i haven't, i lo-ove my profs...

"if an old fat man kidnaps you and throws you in a bag, don't panick!

i asked santa for you."

it says "you are here" - bwahaha

empty (doesn't every blog have to have a post with this title??)

"Oddly enough, I feel like a new year has begun.
I feel empty: a new beginning always come at the cost of something else's ending."
(massey's blog: http://masseyjaan.blogspot.com/2006/12/my-cliche-pill.html)

i can't sleep.
it is 3:48 am and i can't sleep.
i was so tired today. so tired.
so you would think i could sleep.
but no.
i feel, as massey put it, empty.
i wish i could explain. explain it to myself. i wish i could put it into words. spit it out over the page. vomit it all out of me. i just want to write it and be done with it.
because writing it out makes me feel free of it. purifies me. i write it and then i'm rid of it. done and done. no more stupid illogical feelings. no more emptiness. just freedom.
but
i can't find the words (do words even exist for describing nothing, describing a hole?). i don't know what it is i feel. i don't know why. and i don't know how to find out.
search.
i look in, i stare at my soul. i try to separate from myself to see myself from the outside.
but
it's all a fog. misty. cloudy. unclear. hazy.
all i see are questions: why? how? what do i do? how do i become?
just endless questions like that.
i am looking for answers that i know i may never find.
do i just have to learn to deal?
do i just have to be
happy
about how it is?

"are you a parking ticket?

cause you got fiiine written all over you."

:D

isn't it ironic?

have ever noticed how...

...the phone only rings when you're too busy to answer it?
...it pours rain while you're outside and stops as soon as you're inside (and then starts again the second you go back outside)?
...as soon as someone asks you what a word means, you forget it (even though at any other time, you are perfectly cabaple of explaining EXACTLY what it means [along with spelling and pronounciation])?
...you're never 100% sure how many 'm's and 'r's "tomorrow" has?
...when you learn something new or meet someone new, it/they start to show up everywhere?
...the second you want something (keys, wallet, a specific book) you can't find it anywhere?
...but as soon as you don't need it, it's in your face?
...the worst traffic happens when you really really need to be somewhere (that you were supposed to be at 10 minutes ago)?
...the weather is most perfect on the days when you have to stay inside staring at a computer screen all day?
...the best ideas come to you right before falling asleep, when you're already all snuggled up in your warm comfy bed and you're too damn lazy to get up and write it down, and so you don't, thinking "there is no way i would forget THIS", but of course you foget it in the morning? (i now keep a pen and paper by my bed)
...there are so many thing in the world which you know what they are but aren't able to explain their meaning to someone else?
...whenever you're late, you have missed something important, and whenever you're early, nothing important is going on?
...the questions that show up on exams are exactly the ones which you didn't study as hard thinking "the prof would never ask that"?
...everyone seems to wim lotteries and raffles and stuff at least once, except you?
...the books you need for that big research paper are always signed out (with a hold on them)?
...you get the most giggly in places where laughing is the most inappropriate?
...as soon as you say to yourself "it is very important that i remember to do/say this!" you forget what you had to do/say?
...you remember that you have forgotten something, but don't remember what it was you forgot?

what's up with that??

massey, you ever considered working for hallmark?

"happy birthday to you
i brought you some poo
just taste it, don't waste it
happy birthday to you"

this is the first thing i heard today (at 12:10 am).
what can i say? she has the soul of a poet, that one...
thanks massey! :D

"THE COLLEGE STUDENT PRAYER"

"The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not Flunk; He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying. He leadeth me besides the water cooler for a study break; He restoreth my faith in study guides. he leads me to better study habits for my grade's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of borderline grades, I will not have a nervous breakdown; for thou art with me. Though givest me answers on the moments of blankness; thou annointest my head with understanding, my test paper runneth over with questions I recognize. Surely passing grades shall follow me all the days of my examinations and I shall not dwell in this University for ever.
AMEN"
(thanks dami)

well, THIS has never happened before...

i don't even know how to explain.
the thing is, i didn't think it was possible.
i mean i had heard about it, but i never believed it, you know?
i definitely never thought it would feel this way.
or that it would happen to me.
wow, it's all so new.
i'm not used to this...

...but i thoroughly enjoyed writing this essay!
and,
if i'm going to be totally honest,
i'm a little sad it's finished.

and the musical accompaniment for tonight's all-nighter is...

GOLE YAKH (ice flower)
by shahrum k.
http://www.bia2.com/video/player.php?id=153
soooo sad! but omg, soooooo gooooooood!
listen to it even if you don't know persian. here's the story:
he has a nightmare one night where he sees himself picking ice flowers (ok, no idea what an ice flower is, to be honest [confused WTH face]), then wakes up and sees his girlfriend has left him. she has left him a note breaking up with him (a note??? who breaks up using a note?? what a wuss)("hey, be a man!" [said with thick chinese accent])(oh that russel peters [slaps knee, wipes tear]), saying she is tired and that it's over between them.
years later, she comes back - HE IS IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION and he still has her letter! (see why he is in a mental institution?? yeah)
the rest of the song is just him telling her things like: "now that you've come back and see me ruined, you can sit and watch me like this? you didn't even think of what you did to me? i still remember all those days, and will (remember them) until eternity. you said you understood, but you didn't understand that this heart is all of a person [i.e. my whole self was my heart and you crushed it]! you can come and see me like this and do nothing about it."
then at then end, i guess he FINALLY realizes and moves on cause he says "my hands no longer want the warmth of your hands, my legs will no longer walk even one step next to you. my heart no longer wants you. my heart no longer wants you."

i get a tad confused at the end. cause he is all like, 'i'm over you.' but he is in a mental institution, so...ummm...yeah...
but anyways,
let's not think about it too much [roll eyes].

looooooooool - clever

i want to love it again

you know that feeling? the feeling that this is what makes you happy? that certainty that comes with knowing this is it? you know what i'm talking about? i mean the desire that draws you to it. that satisfaction that comes from it. that peace that settles all over your body and soul and makes you smile. just makes you smile like an idiot for no reason whatsoever. and people ask you, they say, "what are you smiling at?" and the only answer you can give is "life," because there is really no other concrete reason why you can't stop smiling. you know what i mean, right?

desire.
satisfaction.
peace.

i miss that feeling. where did it go? does it disappear as you get older? diminishes little by little until you forget what it feels like? oppressed under the overwhelming feeling that there is so much more than you are capable to do?

"how are you?"
common question.
common answered: "i'm fine. how are you?"
my answer used to be "excellent!! and you?"

i want it.
i want to be excellent again.
but, instead, i'm...just...
tired.

i swear, i'm developing a hump in my back...

i have spent the last month and a half bent over my desk in front of my computer.
i was not made for this. i was meant to run wild and free in...well, i guess a shopping mall, considering how much forest and wild life there ISN'T around me.
if i develop back problems and/or become the infamous Hunch-Back of Ottawa, i'm blaming carleton!

"worrying is like a rocking chair.

it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere."
(hudda the sage)

on second thought:

no

i'm finito avec my science paper!

woo-woo and a yay (accompanied by a spontaneous bout of celebratory dancing to the tune of "good-bye, farewell" [from the sound of music])
anyone interested in knowing what happens in your brain when you develop a habit or learn something? well, now I know the answer...:D
i complain, but God it was SUCH an interesting topic (no, i’m not being sarcastic here) (seriously)(!!). i couldn’t stop reading the research. i kept on thinking "ok that’s enough. write the damn thing already! it’s due today!" but the other side of me would be like "just one more chapter, just one more chapter." it made me want to study biology. now i’m kind of thinking of staying an extra year in undergrad and studying bio. hmmm, should i go to med-school instead of philosophy?? oh the unending possibilities...
what to do? what to do?

ah!! (that's my "i'm so indignant!" expression)

i just went to bia2.com trying to find moein, possibily the greatest iranian singer of all time, to listen to as i sit here in the wee hours of the morning working on, you guessed it, yet another paper. and, you will not believe this, but: THEY DON'T HAVE HIM THERE!

what kind of self-respecting iraninan music site does not have moein, i ask you???
(for my deprived friends who don't know who moein is, well let's just say he is like the brad pit - ok no, like the um, jack nicholson of the music world - i.e. insanely good at what he does, rather than just being famous cause of his looks or something)

anyways, do not fear though, i DO in fact have a thousand moein songs myself, so i just got out my trusty colletion of "moein's best" CDs that i got last year for my birthday (do my parents know me or do they know me? :D) and am happily listening away while not-so-happily trying to explain exactly how the brain works [for those who don't know, the workings of the brain is just a little bit complicated][in place of "just a little bit" read "unbelievaly and insanely and whoa-what-in-the-world-is-going-on"] [and i'm not even studying science!].

not to depart from my very important point, however, i would just like to say to bia2.com: PUT UP MOEIN!
and also i would like to take this opportunity to publicly declare my love for him – he is wonderful. He makes me happy. he moves my soul. His songs draw me up to God. I could listen to him forever.
The person I end up marrying will just have to learn to deal with it!

Whoa I just realized, I am truly madly deeply* in love with a lot of people: moein, Enrique, hegel, benyamin, Aristotle, the Carleton pool (yes I know it’s not a person, but we have a deep and everlasting bond...james bond)

*omg, remember that song?? aahh the 90s...memories...what happened to savage garden anyway? They disappeared off the face of the earth.

ok, end of rambling [i.e. pretending like i'm doing something while actually just procrastinating my life away]

p.s. can you say stream of consciousness writing?

Inadequate

she read it.
with each word she read, her confidence fell down a notch. she looked up from those wonderful soulful thoughts and evaluated herself. separated herself from her body and considered who she was. looked at herself through the eyes of someone else, the eyes of the ultimate observer.
and she realized something: she would never be like that. she could never express the truth with such uninhibited abandonment. She couldn’t. maybe because she didn’t see it like he did. he somehow managed to see so deeply into the farthest recesses of the human consciousness and extract bits from it that were hidden from view, buried in the cave of the mind. he could see the twitch of an eye expressing sadness. and he could know what that sadness was. he could go to the deepest roots of sadness – or any emotion for that matter – and extract its meaning. define it. see it. feel it.
and more importantly, make her feel it. he had an uncanny ability to explain who she was without her knowing it herself. she could only recognize that what he was saying was exactly how she was feeling deep in her subconscious. her soul, independently from her mind, responded to it. "yes!" it screamed at every word. "that is precisely it!"
he knew, somehow, what it meant to be a human being.
and everyone else saw this in him too. "heck," she though as she read, "I see it. that's why i love it so much." it was like a car wreck. it made her feel shitty, but she couldn’t stop staring. she couldn’t stop turning the pages. even as each page crushed her soul a little bit more than the last.
she knew somehow instinctively that she would never be as good. she would never reach the level he had. she felt – she was – inadequate.
the worst part of it all was that this made her not be happy for him. as much as she wanted to be, as much as she longed to feel just a self-less pure admiration of him, she couldn’t separate her own feelings of jealousy from it all.
deep down, right around the part of herself that felt so inadequate, she also felt this horrible feeling of – well, she didn’t know what to call it. (hatred?? fear??) (see?! she just wasn’t good enough. she couldn’t even think of a word for her own feelings!) all she could think was that it was evil. it was – oh God – a secret wish, buried deep deep down (but there nonetheless), for him to fail. there it was. out in the open. she had finally admitted it to herself.
oh God oh God oh God.
she didn’t want him to be this good. it wasn’t that she wanted herself to be better. she just didn’t want him to be any good.
yes.
that was it.
she knew it was a horrible way to feel, to be.
but the truth – now that she was being honest with herself for once – was that for as long as he was around, she couldn’t stop comparing herself to him (not when she was trying to do the same thing he was already doing so well). and for as long as he was so good, she would always feel not good enough. so she hoped he would...sigh...fail.
inadequate.
yes.
that was it.

my excuse for not really thinking these days

i was thinking today that recently i have been posting sporadic thoughts and quotes and stuff here and there. nothing really substantial (i.e. resulting from deep thinking).
there is a good reason for this.
i was talking with kim and we realized something.

epiphany.

we realized that in fact we have - how shall i put this? - NO life whatsoever these days. my world is consumed by trying to get my papers done and finishing on time. my brain is on auto-pilot, just filling in pages as if it is formula. i basically do not move from in front of my computer - we have bonded (we're on first-name basis - i call him joe, he calls me - well he doesn't really talk to me)(yet - that will happen when i'm up at 4:00 am tonight...). plus, even if it do have an idea, i don't really have time to develope it. i have 12 posts saved as drafts, hoping to make it to published status at some point.

sample convo with me:
"so bita, what's new with you these days?"
"umm...well, umm...yesterday, umm...i worked on a paper...and also the day before that and...ummm, oh but the day before that i did something different! i did the review for the class i TA and i graded assignments."

yeah, i feel a tad on the boring-side of life...
but as always, it could be worse: i could be in engineering - then i would REALLY have no life with the 50 assignments a second those guys have to do.
saeed, massey, ebrahim, and other engineering friends: you know it's true! :D

sample convo with an engineering student:
"what did you do today?"
"i did an assignment that's due today at 7:30."
"oh nice, you're finished. what are you doing tomorrow?"
"i'm doing an assignment that's due tomorrow at 7:30."

scientific evaluation of the middle east conflict

Jon Stewart: Let me get your take [on the Lebanon/Israel conflict], and I want to break it down slightly more mathematically, if I could. The Middle East today, on a scale of 'fucked' to 'fuuuuucked.'
Reza Aslan: Uhh, I'm gonna say it's 'mothafucked.'

umm...how old is this kid?? (someone get her a barbie)

"amazing belly dancing"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXtIHiOUIbM&mode=related&search=
wow - she is so good!!

this one is just so cute...
http://www.iranian.com/Anyway/2006/November/water.html

(thanks fatemeh)

scary statistic

in 1900, the average north american consumed about 5 pounds of refined sugar per year.
in 2000, the average noth american consumed an average of...

wait for it...

150 POUNDS OF REFINED SUGAR PER YEAR.

insane! i'm never eating cake again.
(no, not even for my birthday)
(well, ok, ok, i'll have cake that ONE time, if you insist)
(:D)

good point

not that i'm condoning violence or anything (kids: just say no)...but good point

it's the most won-der-ful time of the yeaaaaar

IT'S DECEMBER!!
finally!
sweetness!
AND it's snowing!

qu'un bon jour

i have le high hopes for december
(as in, maybe i won't feel like shooting myself as i did in november)(hey, a girl can dream...)